Business and Marketing

4. Take the wind out of the other person’s sails. People often enter into conflict discussions pumped up with a high degree of anger, a defense mechanism against anticipated hostility from the other party. To defuse hostility, send messages that will calm the other person and take the wind out of his sails. Offer the option of  meeting in his office or at your work area.

Avoid meeting in a public work area, because people are more likely to become ego-involved in conflicts when their peers or subordinates can overhear (ever watch children daring each other to fight in a playground?). Select a time when neither of you will feel rushed or pressured. During the discussion, avoid standing or leaning over the other person. Sit in a comfortable position, and try to relax your face and breathing. Avoid talking in a rushed or clipped manner. Offer the other person some coffee. Before responding, say to the other person, “Obviously you have a lot of strong feelings about this.

Before we go on, I want to make sure that I understand you correctly.” Often, at this point, the other party will quickly throw out a few angry points and then brace himself (you can see this in a tightening of the face and muscles) for your attack. Once again, take the wind out of his sails by summarizing what you’ve heard and then encouraging him to continue. Then briefly summarize the speaker’s key point.

5. Place disagreements within the context of agreement. During conflicts, people tend to focus on those areas on which they disagree without fully considering areas of agreement. Before commenting on any disagreement, quickly list those points on which you and your partner agree, then lead into your area of disagreement. Say something like “I feel that we are in agreement on several points,” and then list them and say, “The one area where we seem to disagree is …You seem to feel …whereas I believe that …Is that the way you see things?”

Next article is Stress Situations Guide -3

Model limit-busting in your own life. If you want your team members to raise their own performance expectations, you must be able to show them you are willing to take risks and challenge performance limits in your own life.

To model limit-busting for your team, do the following:
1. Set challenging goals for your performance. During the next month, create a wall chart for tracking your personal performance in a selected area and include on the chart a clearly delineated performance goal. Share your goal with your team, and be honest in conveying your progress toward the goal. If you find that to reach your goal you have to put in additional effort or modify your procedures, share this with your team. When your team sees that you are testing your own limits, it will be more willing to follow suit.
2. Use the language of success. I’ve found that the language you use shapes your personal perception of the world. If you use words that convey powerlessness and hopelessness, you weaken yourself. On the other hand, language can be used to empower yourself and strengthen your team.
3. Volunteer to temporarily perform the jobs of your team members. This technique provides a number of benefits.

First, it shows employees that you are trying to see through their eyes the problems and difficulties they encounter on a daily basis.

Second, if you aren’t well acquainted with the jobs they perform, this approach shows that you are willing to shift, when needed, from the role of skilled expert to novice. It shows your team that you are willing to deal with the uncertainty of working outside your comfort zone.

Provide periods of concentrated effort. During high-stress periods people usually find it more difficult to concentrate on the work in front of them. These are the times that phones ring off the hook and people find themselves overrun by walk-in visitors. One technique for creating a stress-managed environment is to meet with your team to determine the most quiet, uninterrupted location in your facility.

This might be an unused conference room, the company cafeteria (morning or late afternoon), or even an isolated corner of your office. In addition, see if your group is willing to set up a schedule which will enable members to cover each others’ phones and handle walk-in interruptions. The goal should be to provide each member with one or two hours of uninterrupted, concentrated effort each day. This will enable them to follow through on difficult projects, concentrate more effec¬tively on their work, and have a re-energizing period during the day.

Focus on the controllable. One of the biggest factors in work stress is the fear of being overwhelmed by factors outside one’s control. For your group, this means dealing with large-scale changes that are perceived as unknown, uncontrollable, and potentially dangerous. Look for ways to keep your group apprised of important changes and redirect its focus to those aspects of change that are within its control.

Adjust the pressure value. Chances are there are a few team members on whom you rely for support. When work pressure builds, you may tend to put a lot more pressure on these individuals because you know that they are reliable and will put in extra effort. The problem is that if you aren’t careful, you will both quickly burn out your star performers and send a message to the rest of the team that poor performance is rewarded with less work.

If you discover that some team members are walking out the door each day at quitting time while others are pulling two or three hours of overtime, something is wrong. Talk to members to find out whether the problem involves an unbal¬anced workload or a performance problem; then act accordingly.  One way of balancing your team’s workload is through weekly meetings. Ask members to outline their assignments, estimate time commitments for the upcoming week, and suggest ways of reallocating assignments to provide for the fairest possible distribution of work. If members put in a lot of overtime, consider giving them compensatory time off to recover their energy.  Be a strong advocate.

An important tactic for managing stress is to be a strong advocate in representing your team’s concerns to senior managers or other groups. You might also ask your manager to meet briefly with team members to provide them with a broader picture of the changes now under way at your company.

If you are experiencing stress yourself, you might find it hard to listen to members because your attention level will continually wander to other subjects. You can correct this problem by restricting your standard open-door policy, instead setting aside times in which you are able to give members your full attention. Also, ask members to avoid engaging you in hit-and-run conversations in the hallways. If you feel that it will be impossible to enforce this rule, keep a pad with you at all times to take notes (no matter how simple the discussion) on what is said and on required follow-up actions.
Before meeting with a member who wishes to air concerns:
• Clear your desk of any projects that could distract you from the discussion.
• Ask other members not to barge in on you unless there is an emergency.
• Have someone cover calls for you to avoid additional distractions.
• Provide a clear mental focus point for the discussion by summarizing during the first few minutes of the discussion (1) the team member’s key purpose for talking with you, (2) the type of help or assistance that the member is requesting from you, and (3) how long the discussion will last.
• Take notes during, pot after, the discussion. If you have a computer, create a Team Concerns File, and enter notes directly into this file during the discussion. This will eliminate wasting time later on searching for notes and will provide a single focal point for referencing team concerns.
• If, during the discussion, your attention wanders to other important subjects, ask the speaker to stop for a second while you make a quick memory-jogger note for later reference. If you find yourself unable to concentrate on the subject at hand, honestly explain that you are having trouble focusing on the discussion and reschedule the discussion for a later time. Avoid one of the most common mistakes made by stressed-out managers-trying to be two places at once.

In addition, be careful about playing favorites. If your team is experiencing stress, it becomes very important to balance your communications and to make an effort to reach everyone. Make it a point to eat lunch with a different team member every day and talk with members individually to find out about the status of their work. If time is a problem, use other techniques such as PC networking, electronic mail systems, or a note board in a designated area of your office to keep members on track regarding new information that can affect them.

Listen fully to members’ concerns. Allow members an opportunity to air their fears and concerns openly. When members begin to voice their anger and frustration, resist the tendency to respond immediately by justifying your company’s actions or telling them that you agree with their views. Just listen, and acknowledge that you under¬stand their concerns. Communicate that you want to work with team members to make certain that they perform at their best during these tough times.

Keep in mind that no one is expecting you to perform as a therapist or counselor during these discussions. You don’t necessarily have to have answers to everyone’s problems. The important thing is that you position yourself as someone who is open, interested and concerned for your team’s welfare.

One way to make sure that you provide an adequate amount of supervision is to use project schedule charts. You can develop these charts with your team prior to implementing any project and list ahead of time two types of interventions: (1) the dates on which you and your members will meet to conduct routine status reviews on the project, and (2) the types of performance problems that, should they occur, need to be brought to your attention immediately. Have the project schedule posted on a wall by your team’s work area so that you can quickly glance at it if you feel the need to make an unscheduled progress check.

Resist the tendency to tighten up. I’m sure that your manager has already given you a speech about the need for maintaining tight control over your team until your organization gets back on track. This sounds great, but the question is, control over what? Do you really need to inventory the number of paper clips or pencils used by your group each month?

Provide clear communications. Fight the urge to withdraw from your team and stay in your office. You are your team’s “door of visibility” to the rest of your organization. If the door is closed, your team will feel that it has been locked in the mushroom cellar without access to needed information or direction. Share any and all information you have on important changes now occurring in your company. Be honest about what is fact and what is rumor. Consider having selected team members accompany you to departmental meetings so that they can form their own opinions about impending changes.

Keep things in perspective. When people become anxious and stressed out, they tend to view all irritations and problems as critical. If you become emotionally drained over small, inconsequential problems, you will deplete energy resources that would normally be reserved for dealing with critical challenges. In this respect, you will perform like a marathon racer who exhausts herself by running a series of high-speed sprints before the race is even under way. To conserve your energy, learn to keep your problems in perspective by identifying those few work situations that truly require a high level of vigilance and effort.

Make decisions during low-stress periods. Although it’s impossible to predict with 100% certainty the types of situations that will trigger excessive stress, if you carefully track your stress over a period of days or weeks you will probably find that you experience a stress cycle of predictable highs and lows. For example, your stress level may build immediately before you are to meet with your manager or certain customers. Highlight on your weekly calendar any upcoming events or responsibilities that are likely to create stress for you. If possible, avoid making key decisions during these periods, and save important decision making meetings for times when your stress level is moderate and your attention is fully focused on the task at hand.

Be ruthlessly honest with yourself about recognizing situations in which you are not emotionally and mentally prepared to wrestle with difficult work issues. Regulate your level of work direction. Managers experiencing excessive stress tend to have difficulty balancing the degree of supervision they provide to their groups. Some managers intervene too quickly, resulting in micro management and nervous hovering. Others go to the opposite extreme, procrastinating about acting on stressful work situations until their stress level builds up to the point where they overwhelm their group with critical feedback on a variety of problems.

Keep things in perspective. When people become anxious and stressed out, they tend to view all irritations and problems as critical. If you become emotionally drained over small, inconsequential problems, you will deplete energy resources that would normally be reserved for dealing with critical challenges. In this respect, you will perform like a marathon racer who exhausts herself by running a series of high-speed sprints before the race is even
under way. To conserve your energy, learn to keep your problems in perspective by identifying those few work situations that truly require a high level of vigilance and effort.

Make decisions during low-stress periods. Although it’s impossible to predict with 100% certainty the types of situations that will trigger excessive stress, if you carefully track your stress over a period of days or weeks you will probably find that you experience a stress cycle of predictable highs and lows. For example, your stress level may build immediately before you are to meet with your manager or certain customers. Highlight on your weekly calendar any upcoming events or responsibilities that are likely to create stress for you.

If possible, avoid making key decisions during these periods, and save important decision-making meetings for times when your stress level is moderate and your attention is fully focused on the task at hand. Be ruthlessly honest with yourself about recognizing situations in which you are not emotionally and mentally prepared to wrestle with difficult work issues. Regulate your level of work direction.

Managers experiencing excessive stress tend to have difficulty balancing the degree of supervision they provide to their groups. Some managers intervene too quickly, resulting in micro management and nervous hovering. Others go to the opposite extreme, procrastinating about acting on stressful work situations until their stress level builds up to the point where they overwhelm their group with critical feedback on a variety of  problems.

–

This is second series of Strategy performance.