Instead, before interacting with your team, give yourself time to recover, and carefully think through the following questions:
• How much of what I’m upset about is directly within control of my team?
• Are they really the target of my anger?
• Am I angry with my team or just anxious about my job?
• If I blow up, am I really going to move the job along faster, or will I simply create more problems?
• Do team members really understand the full context of my anger and frustration? If they don’t seem to understand the significance of a problem, is it because part of the situation is outside of their visibility?

For example:
You: So if I understand you, you’re saying that you like the way I’m managing the bid process, that my documentation is complete and accurate, and that I could do even better if I worked on providing a more timely response to bids. Is that about it?

Inspire the Troops
So here you are, caught in a nutcracker. Your manager is screaming for your group to be more productive and you know that your team’s performance is being scrutinized. You recognize that to meet your organization’s rising performance expectations you will need to gain the full commitment of each of your team members.

In the process of gaining full commitment from your team you are likely to encounter three obstacles.
1. Current changes in the marketplace, including the loss of job security and increasingly stringent performance standards, are forcing a radical shift in how professionals view their jobs.
2. Team members feel that they are already pushing as hard as they can.
3. People are reluctant to move out of their comfort zones.

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Another article about stress management:

Experiencing Stress
Experiencing Stress And Playing With It
Stress Situations Guide -2
Create a Stress Managed Environment

This might be an unused conference room, the company cafeteria (morning or late afternoon), or even an isolated corner of your office. In addition, see if your group is willing to set up a schedule which will enable members to cover each others’ phones and handle walk-in interruptions. The goal should be to provide each member with one or two hours of uninterrupted, concentrated effort each day. This will enable them to follow through on difficult projects, concentrate more effec¬tively on their work, and have a re-energizing period during the day.

Focus on the controllable. One of the biggest factors in work stress is the fear of being overwhelmed by factors outside one’s control. For your group, this means dealing with large-scale changes that are perceived as unknown, uncontrollable, and potentially dangerous. Look for ways to keep your group apprised of important changes and redirect its focus to those aspects of change that are within its control.

Listen fully to members’ concerns. Allow members an opportunity to air their fears and concerns openly. When members begin to voice their anger and frustration, resist the tendency to respond immediately by justifying your company’s actions or telling them that you agree with their views. Just listen, and acknowledge that you under¬stand their concerns. Communicate that you want to work with team members to make certain that they perform at their best during these tough times.

Keep in mind that no one is expecting you to perform as a therapist or counselor during these discussions. You don’t necessarily have to have answers to everyone’s problems. The important thing is that you position yourself as someone who is open, interested and concerned for your team’s welfare.

Reduced effort. Members may withdraw physically or emotionally from team projects or reluctant to provide other team members with needed support, or to volunteer for “extra effort” projects, such as presentations to senior managers.

Health problems. Members appear totally exhausted two hours into the day. Other health symptoms are a high level of fatigue, or a sharp rise in absenteeism, and an increase in safety problems.

Sense of being overwhelmed. Members immediately react to any announced changes or assignments with a great deal of resistance and anxiety. Any impending change is viewed by your group as a harbinger of bad news.

Poor two-way communication. The last symptom, poor two-way communication, is so important that I want to deal with it separately. While some managers of stressed-out teams experience a sharp in crease in the number of complaints from members, a far more serious warning symptom is when your group suddenly stops communicating with you. Do any of the following situations sound familiar?
• Are members reluctant to bring you bad news? Do they intentionally hide their own or other member’s work problems from you?
• Have you ever overheard them immediately cease all conversation when you enter the room?
• Have you found that members purposely avoid you or no longer invite you to eat lunch with them?
• Have you been intentionally excluded from joining in after work social functions?
• Do members seem particularly anxious or upset whenever they communicate with you?
• Do members draw a sharp line between “you” (you and all senior-level managers) and “us”?
• Do members go out of their way to ask each other for help, rather than approach you for advice and information?
• Do members seem to mistrust the information you present?
• If your team has recently conducted an anonymous manager feedback survey on your leadership, do the results seem very out of sync with the face-to-face feedback you are receiving from your team?
If these situations sound familiar, they should serve as warnings that team members are attempting to cope with stress by erecting barriers between you and them. The problem is that the lack of two-way communication leads to a number of secondary problems, which produce even more stress for you and your team.

Since the early 1970s, abundant research has shown that one of the most critical factors for coping successfully with stress is the presence of a solid support system-those networks of interpersonal relation ships that, during periods of stress and trauma, provide emotional and social support and assistance. Support systems offer a sense that one isn’t alone with one’s problems, that there is someone out there who is willing to help.

Research has shown that when people are exposed to severe stresses, such as illness or the death of a spouse, those who have good support systems are much less likely to suffer from heart problems and other major stress disorders. Additional research has shown that the most effective buffer against work stress is not one’s friends, coworkers, or spouse but one’s manager. The actions you as manager take and the relationships you form with your team members thus directly influence their ability to cope with work and stress.

Stress is a sign that excessive wear and tear are being placed on a system. While a moderate amount of stress is necessary for good performance, excessive stress does not indicate that a team is performing at its best. It merely strips a team of energy that could be more productively directed elsewhere as team members seek ways to buffer themselves against the adverse effects of stress. Like the Starship Enterprise after it has been hit by a blast of photon torpedoes, stressed ¬out members tend to shut down everything but essential life-support systems.

To understand the relationship that exist between work stress and performance, picture someone racing a car across the Utah salt flats on the hottest day of the year, saying, “Look at the temperature climb in my engine! Now I’m really getting good performance!” Now picture that person intentionally puncturing his radiator to produce an even greater increase in the car’s engine temperature. Sounds pretty silly, doesn’t it? Equally silly is the manager who says, “I’m really getting performance out of my group now; just look at them sweat!” Once again, excessive stress is a sign of poorly displaced energy. Teams attempting to survive tough times need to apply their energy in the most effective way possible.